It’s a ritual in our household each Wednesday morning. Wake up, get breakfast going, hear the ever-closer rumble of the garbage truck, sprint to put the bin out on the curb before they pass us. We inevitably get the bin out on time, but I imagine we’re a routine sight for the workers at this point, running in our socks down the driveway.
Why is it so much trouble to remember to put it out the night before? Why do we need an increasing number of reminders on our phones for tasks and events like this? And how can we get better at it?
This type of memory is called Prospective Memory. It’s a memory that hasn’t happened yet. When I was growing up, I didn’t know the term for it, and I called it “alarm clock memory” (as opposed to the “filing cabinet memory” where I stored the full names of the New Kids on the Block). Prospective Memory is tricky because it requires that the memory be triggered at a certain time or place. How can we make sure we retrieve this memory when we need it?
Our brain is constantly using pathways to evaluate and connect information that we receive. If we have a fear of snakes and encounter a snake while walking a path in the woods, we might hesitate to walk that path again. Our brain will have formed a connection between the path and encountering a snake. If we happen to hear the same song every time we enter the grocery store, we’re going to start thinking of that song any time we think of the grocery store.
Our brain loves to make connections like these. If it thinks that we’ll need the connection, it will store it so that it’s easier to connect the two again later. This can be helpful when trying set up new habits that rely on Prospective Memory. If someone bumps their head on a low-hanging light fixture enough, they’ll learn to duck (most of the time) as they walk by it. The act of walking near the fixture will trigger the memory of hitting their head, and they’ll act on the Prospective Memory and duck to avoid being hit again.
This is called a trigger, and we can use triggers to activate prospective memories.
Let’s go back to the trash-on-Wednesday example. The reason I forget the trash is because I have nothing in the environment that reminds me to take it out. The trigger I DO have currently is the distant rumble of the truck. But that’s not quick enough. That trigger happens way too late in the process, and it causes stress every single week. I need a different trigger, one that’s a bit earlier in the week.
Let’s take a look at the day before. I need something each Tuesday to which I can attach this reminder in my weekly routine. There really isn’t anything that sets Tuesday apart from other weekdays for me, except for one goofy Facebook post that a friend of mine posts every Tuesday. It depicts a dog saying “Tuesday? Again?” Then he gives an OK gesture and says, “No problem.” This happens every Tuesday without fail, and I smile every time I see it. So what if I can use this?
When you are trying to form a habit, the phrasing goes, “When X happens, I will Y.” So I’ll phrase it like this. “When I see the Tuesday dog on Facebook, I will remember to take the trash to the curb.” Now I have something concrete to remind me. And this reminder will be the day before, rather than the morning of.
This connection won’t happen right away. It will take several weeks for me to get the hang of this. I will see the Tuesday dog, forget about it, and hear the rumble of the truck on Wednesday and have to run out again. But this time, when I have to run out, I’ll remind myself, “The next time I see that dog giving me the OK sign, I’ll remember to take the trash out.” Eventually, this association will become strong enough that I remember it when I see it, and not the next day.
What if I need to remember to get something out of the freezer to thaw when I get home? If it’s cold out, I can say something like, “When I get home, I’ll feel the warm air in the house and enjoy how good that feels, and the warmth will remind me to get my chicken out of the freezer.” If it’s warm out, we can do the same thing, but backwards. “When I get home, I’ll step into the cool air conditioning, and I’ll remember how warm it was outside, and I remember to take the chicken out of the freezer and put it in the warm air.” WHAT the connection is ultimately doesn’t matter as much as the fact THAT you form a connection.
This is how you can set prospective memory “alarms” for yourself – attach them to a trigger. And triggers can be used for all sorts of prospective memories – when you reach a location, when you perform a task, when you next see someone. Think of something specific that will be in your environment at that time, and tell yourself that it will trigger the memory.